Coming Home
by OffCenterFold
Summary: Megumi has returned to Tokyo some years later for an extended visit.  She's very grateful for her friends - but sometimes she wishes they'd just let certain things go...   Follows the anime.
1. Chapter 1

In the nearly three years since the chaos following Kensan's final duel with Enishi, things had been quiet, almost boring. I, at least, was fairly content with the way things were. Yes, I was lonely and would not mind a companion in my life, but perhaps things were better this way. I had returned from Aizu for an extended visit; my clinic was in good hands and I had felt a deep need to visit my friends. There was only one other thing I truly wanted fiercely, but I was not yet ready to face that particular road alone.

Sometimes I refused to accept it, entirely, but rationally I knew it was about as over as it could get, the more so for never having begun. After all, one of the best ways to drive home the point that you weren't interested in someone was to marry someone else. And he'd done a pretty good job of that; I'd been there.

Sometimes I wondered if he ever understood how deep my love for him really went. I think most people believed it was merely a cover, or at least a deception meant to make the silly country girl upset. But from the moment I met him, really met him as a person and not some random stranger with a sword, I knew I was already well on the way to handing him my heart all dressed out on a silver platter. Of course, he never indicated that he saw it, and certainly never wanted it. I was a friend to him. A good one, in truth one of his closest confidantes and his physician to boot - no one knows a person like that person's doctor - but nothing more.

None of that meant I had to LIKE it.

To make matters worse, even though I had eventually developed a friendship of sorts with his young wife and respected her, I could never resolve myself to truly like her as a person, or as a match for the man I loved. She was too needy, too overt, too raucous, and altogether too violent for the man he had become long before any of us met him. Who knew, perhaps ten years ago she might have been a match, but the intervening years had altered him from whatever sort of hotheaded youth he might have been to a sensitive, gentle, and mature man in control of his formidable abilities.

He was also a MUCH better cook than she could ever be, although not even he could hold his own in the kitchen against me. He could wield his sakabatou like nobody's business but it was I who could best him with a simple fish knife. Never in combat, of course. I'm not the combative type, and I'm certainly not foolish enough to even consider taking on the man who had once been known as the Hitokiri Battousai, foremost killer of an era.

He'd calmed down quite a bit since his younger days, but then, most of us do, eventually.

I shifted the child in my arms as I traveled down memory lane, marveling once again at the way his small hands were so perfect and so strong, or the way his still baby-fine red hair covered his head. Such a small, perfect human being! No amount of medical training could prepare one for the pure miracle wonderfulness of a baby. No amount of technical knowledge and skill could ever warn of how sweet they smelled or how soft and fragile they felt. A fierce wave of protectiveness washed over me and I kissed his smooth forehead. He sighed in his sleep and it was all I could do not to coo over him like a fool. That wouldn't do. Not for a medical professional of my standing. Neither would the momentary pain that clutched my heart without mercy, closing my throat and threatening to spill hot tears down my cheeks.

I wanted a child so badly. I wanted a family of my own. I wanted all the things that Kensan had given Kaoru, and the more I ached, the more frustrated I became. Things were coming to a head in my mind, and I knew I'd have to come to terms with the situation or go insane.

The latter was beginning to sound the more likely option. Most of the time, it wasn't so bad, but holding this child, their child… His child.

Kenji gurgled again and I closed my eyes, listening to his small, faint breaths with mingled joy and pain in my heart. I leaned back in my chair, letting him use me as a mattress, my arm in its voluminous sleeve serving as his warm blanket, safe haven and anchor. He felt so good lying there, this tiny little child, and I found myself wanting to doze with him. Indeed, my eyes were drifting slowly shut of their own accord as a wonderful contentment crept into me.

I couldn't say how much time had passed before I heard a slight, deliberate cough at the door of the clinic. Kensan was there, standing next to Genzaisensei, and both of them were grinning as proudly as if they'd just delivered the child (and at his age!) themselves. I couldn't understand why.

"What are you two grinning about?" I tried to snap quietly, but it didn't quite come out as harshly as I intended, and the men's grins grew bigger.

"Maa, maa, Megumidono. You just looked so peaceful and so happy, we didn't want to wake you." Kensan tried to look more reassuring, but I found it hard to take him as seriously since he hacked off all that glorious red hair. Now he just looked shaggy and a little dopey with the ever-changing newness of fatherhood. The latter suited him well. The former, not so much. "Kaoru sent me to ask if you wanted to join us for dinner."

"Gladly!" We both looked at Genzaisensei, then back at each other, and grinned. My mentor was always one for free food, even if it wasn't so well prepared.

"Well, in the face of such enthusiasm, I can hardly decline myself, now, can I?" I smiled. Shifting my hold on Kenji and marveling yet again at how delicate he seemed for such a sturdy child, I rose from the chair. Now it was my turn to grin as I watched Kensan's immense battle of will. I kissed his son's head again and, with no little reluctance, relinquished my claim on him to his father. "You used to be so good at hiding your feelings, Kensan." I tried to keep the flicker of pain from showing, but he still saw it and flinched. One protective arm encircled his son and held the child close to his chest as Genzai pretended to study the ceiling. Such awkward moments had become far too frequent since Kenji's birth. Not that they were commonplace, but Kensan and I had definitely felt the rift since Kaoru bore his child. I was beginning to believe that pain would never fade.

"Come on, there's food at the end of this jaunt," Genzaisensei grumbled goodnaturedly. Turning towards the door, we followed him out, Kensan trailing not far behind me as I caught up to my colleague.

"It's just not the same around here," he noted as we walked down the street. "Things at the clinic are so much quieter. Between your retiring altogether and Sanosuke's running off, it's almost TOO quiet!" We laughed at this, but he was right. While the clinic had always been busy, it was almost exclusively everyday situations, minor illnesses and the occasional accident. Rarely did we have any dramatic altercations, no one was abducted and recovered only half alive. All the excitement of the "old days" was gone.

And that, too, I missed.

I couldn't figure out why, since the most that had meant was more work and the risk of getting caught uncomfortably in the middle of some silly fight. Of course, the cause was usually just - at least on Kensan's side of it - but that didn't excuse the violence.

Once in a while, it was true that someone would wander through town, discover Kensan's identity, and ask him to teach them, or to spar with them, so that they might match their prowess against he who had once been the foremost killer of his time. His reputation had spread far; word of his revised status as a swordmaster and pacifist was almost as widespread. Fortunately, word of his location hadn't spread nearly as much.

Still, none of those had posed any threat, even the few that had wanted to do so, and the routine had begun to pall. Even I, who for a good part of my life craved the routines of family, friends, and steady work with positive reinforcement, was beginning to understand why someone might pack up and explore the world beyond Japan.

Sometimes it felt so tight in Tokyo that I couldn't breathe. I knew why, of course; it was hard to be good friends with the wife of the man you'd first fallen for. It was beginning to irritate me - not so much that I couldn't have him as much as that I KNEW that and still couldn't seem to get past it, to find someone else who could make me happy the way he did for his wife.

Wife. What a small, simple word, and yet how full of meaning. I wanted to add that to my list of accomplishments. It always seemed so simple, when I was young; of course, most things did. It was only age and experience that complicated things. Not, of course, that I had any intention of giving up my work at the clinic. First and foremost, I was a doctor. Neither would family take second place, but I did not doubt that I would find a way to make it work.

Assuming, of course, that I ever reached that point... Assuming that I could ever find someone to help me heal the hole left by Himura Kenshin's love. For yes, he loved me, but not in the way that a man loves a woman he would take to wife. Not even Kaoru knew it, but once, briefly, there had been a moment of truth between the man who would later become her husband and the woman she had always viewed as a rival. He had been so badly hurt after the "incident" in Kyoto that I had determined to give up before I lost him. But long after that had ended, there was another time, shortly before Kensan and Kaoru admitted their true feelings to one another. He still had his gloriously long hair, then, and things between us were not so strained...


	2. Chapter 2

Part II Once upon a midnight dreary...

It was late. The battle had been fought hard, and despite our best efforts, despite everything we'd done, we'd lost. No physician ever took the loss of a patient well, but this hit me harder than most. Children always did.

It had started out fairly simple. Mariko was as excitable as any healthy, happy six year old. While climbing trees with her friends, she'd slipped, fallen, and landed hard on her shoulder. She'd broken her arm and her collarbone, but seemed otherwise all right. We'd set the arm without a problem and did the best for her shoulder, but being as active as she was, it was hard for her to limit her activities. So she'd used her arm and the shoulder fracture developed an infection. It spread quickly, so quickly that I later wondered if it had indeed been the shoulder, or had we missed something?

Now it was too late to make any difference. Mariko's parents could be heard wailing over the loss of their only child for quite a distance beyond their closed doors. Soon they would make arrangements; Genzaisensei and I had offered our help and been politely declined.

Still, despite all the skill and technology at our disposal, a young girl full of life and promise now lay dead. None of the most modern medicine or up to date techniques had been able to preserve her health. Nothing we had done - and we had done it all, done it as constantly as possible in these last few days - had been enough. The will of the gods be what it may; that doesn't mean anyone has to like it.

I had found a place to flee when I needed to be alone, to relish my solitude and allow myself the reactions that I could not have in front of others. Genzaisensei knew where it was, and Kensan had followed me there once, but as far as I knew, no one else knew I used it as my hideaway.

Up behind the shrine near the dojo was a little clearing. A little way out past that clearing was an old deer trail that led to a thicket under which two or three people could fit comfortably, if they were close, but was perfect as a hiding spot for one person.

It was there that I fled now, before the hot tears could show themselves, before the frustration and grief and anger that I felt could be allowed out in sobs that would wrack me as painfully as they always did, on those too-rare occasions that I gave in to them.

Kensan had been waiting up at the clinic, standing watch for either Genzaisensei or myself to return; if there were some other emergency he knew where we were and would come for one of us. The girls were staying at the dojo and Kensan had been kind enough to volunteer his services. He would be greeting my colleague alone, though of course they would both know where I was once Genzaisensei told Kensan what had come to pass. I prayed for his presence, and I prayed to be left alone. My heart weighed so heavily that I couldn't even decide what I wanted; I only knew that I needed to cry. I needed his love.

That, at least, I knew I would never have. But a good cry, that would be all too easy, once I was at my safe haven.

By that time I knew better than to ask why, or to wonder what I had done wrong. Even the most scientific mind must come to understand that some questions are not meant to be understood immediately. Some are better left unanswered. Perhaps little Mariko had served a higher purpose, and had achieved her celestial destiny. It was not my place to wonder why her end had been so difficult for everyone around her, and how much worse for her.

None of that meant I wasn't going to try anyway, of course.

Over time, I had sneaked old blankets and other basic needs of a hideaway here. Nothing fancy, just enough to cry in comfort, and some travel rations which I kept wrapped securely, away from the animals, in case of dire emergencies. And, of course, a first aid kit of my own making. All in all, it made for a rather secure little haven - as long as it wasn't raining hard enough to get through the trees and brush of my thicket.

I was prepared to spend the night, as it was well past midnight, and I was exhausted long before I arrived. I fully intended to cry myself to sleep, and nearly had when I heard the sounds of someone approaching.

The excess movements were clearly deliberate, an obvious ploy to ensure that I knew he was coming without giving anything away. Kensan was one of the stealthiest men in existence; he had to consciously make the decision to be noisy and I knew it usually bothered him. I sat up and tried to neaten my hair, adjusting my kimono back from where it had slipped down, almost over my shoulder. Still, it was moments before I heard him calling my name, which nearly brought the tears back with the warmth and concern in his voice. He didn't want to wake me if I was asleep, but he didn't want to startle me either. I half expected him to stay out of sight, making sure that I was breathing before turning around. I was wrong; for the first time, he came into my sanctuary. He hesitated; I could see him in the darkness, though not well, and I knew he could see me.

I knew I looked a mess; my hair was windblown and entangled with twigs. My kimono showed signs of the struggles I had endured against my patient's failing health and against the forest's own obstacles. And my face I did not doubt echoed the ravages of grief, frustration, and fatigue. Under pretty much any other circumstances, I'd rather go back to that evil creature who had so dominated my life than appear in front of Kensan this way.

The way things stood, however, my need for his presence outweighed even my pride.

"Kensan..." I hated the way my voice quavered. Such weakness was hardly becoming.

"Megumidono." He did not smile at me, but beneath his thick red hair, his gaze was warm with sympathy and understanding - and just a bit of nervousness. He had only seen me this vulnerable once before - no, twice, now that I thought about it. There had been the time, very shortly after I'd first met him and the Kenshingumi. In the tower alone, I had been on the verge of doing to myself what Kanryuu would have eventually, when they had come in... And then, after Kensan's own life had almost been forfeit, I had done the unthinkable - broke down in front of my patient. It was one thing, perhaps, to cry in front of the man I loved; another entirely to do so while treating a patient.

After that incident, I told Kaoru I was standing aside, letting go of Kensan and any hopes for romance from him. Lies, of course, but important in order to heal...

While it was true I had given up the fight, I had never given up my love. And now, here in the darkness of the thicket, where the faint moonlight barely came through and the best indication of human presence was the sound of breathing...

"Kensan." Again my voice broke, as uncertain as an adolescent boy. I winced, even as I knew he would hear even that slight movement.

"Daijoubu de gozaru ka?" He was standing just outside the entrance to my hiding place.

"Ee." Another lie, and even as I uttered the small affirmative, I heard him kneel down.

"May I come in?"

I could not bring myself to answer aloud. Instead I moved back to allow him room. Hearing my movements, he crawled in, a darker silhouette against the night.

I curled in against myself again as I heard him settle in. "I couldn't do anything, Kensan. Nothing we did made any difference. She DIED, Kensan, she's dead and she was a child, hardly more than a baby, and now she's dead..." The tears flowed fresh again and I could not hold them back. Not, at that point, that I particularly wanted to do so.

No doctor ever liked losing a patient, and I less so than many. This was not just a career. It was more even than just a calling to me, but my repentance. Healing was, in no small part, my way of atoning for the sins I had committed, both knowingly and unknowingly, and largely against my will under the cruel mastery of Takeda Kanryuu. To have failed, even against impossible odds, was an unforgivable breach in my own eyes. What I had done in those days I had believed was merely a matter of survival. My own was paramount; if others chose to destroy themselves with foolish things like drugs it was hardly my place to say no. Then, once I had the chance to stop it, I had believed that my own death would be the only escape, the only worthy penitence. Kensan had taught me differently. He and the others had reminded me what it was like to have people to care for - and who cared about me in return. In only a few short days they brought back the feelings of family and friendship I had long thought lost to me forever. It had scared me so, at the time, because such good things could only be lost.

Naturally I knew better now, but the frailty of life and its ties was only made the more unbearable at a time such as this. Kensan was completely aware of all this and had been for nearly as long as I had; reading people was always a skill of his and one he had worked hard to master.

Even in the darkness, he read me. And as he had never done before, in the secrecy of the thicket in the night, he reached to hold me, that I might cry my agony out in his strong embrace. Drawing upon his strength calmed me, at last, until the sobs that left me nauseous subsided into a state of near trance. The pain was still there and would take time to fade, but the long cry had already done a lot to help the healing process.

I realized I had never felt so safe as I did there with him since my family had been torn apart by war, so many years ago. Once again, tears slid down my cheeks, but this time the very feeling behind them was different, and Kensan detected it.

I felt content. I also knew, too well, that this was not my right. The man who held me now, and who had held my heart from the moment we'd met, belonged by rights to another.

"Megumidono?" If anything, his voice was softer than before, hardly more than a whisper in the cool darkness.

I made a small sound of inquiry, afraid to let go of the fragile moment. I felt his fingers beneath my chin, his silhouette searching for my eyes. I could make out his features, barely, but his vision was better than mine. The little light that filtered down from the moon gave him the advantage, showing him my own face more clearly.

"Megumidono, listen to me." he whispered. My heart began racing, but for a new reason. With him holding me the way he was, looking up at him I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Kensan, I -"


	3. Chapter 3

Part III

[AN] I was "warned" in a review – feel free to read it – that I might get flamed or whatnot if I wrote in a kiss between Kenshin and Megumi. I want to state for the record that A) I never post a fanfic I haven't written to completion, so what's done is done and I always have a reason, and B) You can hate anything you like, but I ask that you read it through first. Thank you. [/AN]

"Megumisan?" Genzaisensei interrupted my reverie. Once I came back to the present, I realized why: we had reached the dojo and I had kept walking, so lost in thought that my whereabouts hadn't even registered. He and Kensan were looking at me strangely; Kenji was grabbing a chubby fistful of his father's scraggly hair. For some reason, he seemed to love doing so more than most. I figured it was divine retribution. As I'd told Kensan many a time, if he hadn't cut his hair, his son would probably not be so fixated on it.

"Gomen. I was remembering the old days," I said with a rueful smile, hoping I wasn't blushing too much.

My old friend nodded. "Ahh, I understand. Still, it's not that we lack for excitement. Perhaps things are better as they are." A happy smile lit his wrinkled features. "As for me, I definitely like things calmer. An old man has to relax, you know."

We laughed at him as we crossed the yard. Kaoru emerged with a bowl, mixing... something. Her cooking had indeed improved from the old days as well, but she still had quite a lot of practice ahead of her...

"What's so funny?" She said, smiling a welcome and planting a kiss on her son's head. He cooed delightedly and reached for her hair.

"Genzaisensei thinks he's old," I said, smiling as Kaoru tried to extract herself from Kenji's attentions while not letting go of the bowl. Kensan tried to help, but it was evident even at this early age that their offspring had inherited his father's strength and his mother's "persistence".

"Oh, but he is old!" she protested. "Why, he's older than the hills! Older than dirt! Older than the Kami!"

We all laughed at the contortions my partner's face was undergoing as his internal war waged itself: the urge to laugh with us versus the urge to protest. Apparently he reached a compromise, because at last he managed to choke out, "I'm not THAT old!" in between guffaws.

I loved Genzaisensei's laugh. It was certainly one of the most healing things about him, in certain respects. Many a patient had been cajoled back to health by his great skill, gentle manner, and I had never seen anyone able to resist joining him when he laughed. He had that full, wholehearted sort of laugh in which his entire body took part. It drew you in, made you feel welcome, and brought a smile to even the most dejected, desparate souls. Many times a patient I was treating would hear his laugh from another room and smile. Everyone loved him; he was a fatherly sort in the best ways possible.

Mostly.

"Certainly I'm not too old to appreciate a fresh young thing like Megumisan, here," he leered, his eyes still sparkling. For some reason, the others found that amusing. I, however, wasn't laughing.

"Dirty old man," I muttered, not bothering to keep it low. That set the others off even harder.

"Dinner's almost ready," Kaoru said when she could speak again. "Why don't you all come inside and we'll eat?"

"That's the best suggestion I've heard yet," said my mentor.

"Suzume and Ayame will be coming straight from school, so as soon as they get here -" The young mother never got to finish her sentence, for at that moment the two young girls appeared, racing gleefully through the doors.

"Kennii! Kaoru! Kenjichan! We're here, we're here!" Ayame's exuberance was matched by her sister.

"And we're HUNGRY!" clamored Suzume.

"You're always hungry," Kaoru chided fondly.

"They're growing girls," said a newly deepening voice. "Now, me, I'll eat anything - even your cooking, ugly toad."

Yahiko was growing up well. A good looking boy, his lifestyle since coming to the Kamiya dojo had vastly improved. Regular meals and excercise were shaping him up into quite the young man, and he had matured well since I had met him just a few years ago. He was even developing manners, a feat which impressed me no end and, I was sure, had to do largely with the influence of Tsubame and Taesan. The latter would not tolerate any silliness in her restaurant, and since she had become like a big sister to Tsubame, was very protective of the young waitress. She would be beating sense into Yahiko, if none of us could.

Still, some habits died harder than others.

He almost managed to duck Kaoru's swing - almost. Fortunately for him, the wooden spoon she was using was clean.

Some things never do change.

I loved this family that had, in many ways, become mine. I loved the banter and the friendship and the genuine warmth that blossomed so freely. Mine had been a household like this; less eclectic perhaps but with the same comforting closeness. Fortunately, this seemed to be a family brought closer by crisis unlike mine, which had been rent utterly and forever.

Again, the painful wish for a household of my own pierced me briefly. Fortunately for me, Ayame and Suzume were tripping over each other to relate their day in class for us and I don't think anyone noticed.

Once dinner was on the table, Kaoru had taken charge of Kenji and was now holding him on her lap as she ate with somewhat more decorum than she had in days not so long gone by. I suspect that was more a matter of default than of choice, however, as it is harder to eat like a horse with a small child on your lap. Especially when that child is very interested in learning and exploring the world around him firsthand - including one's dinner. Kenji had started on solid food, but he wasn't quite up to his mother's cooking.

"I'll hold him, if you like," I found myself offering. Having eaten my small portion - I did have to watch my figure, after all - I had finished shortly after Suzume and Ayame but with considerably less mess. Yahiko was half a step behind them and well ahead of me.

Kaoru looked reluctant for a moment. She was very protective of her first child, and found it hard sometimes even to let her husband hold him. "I'd appreciate that," she conceded as the child in question grabbed at her plate again and shoved something in his mouth.

He was screwing up his face to cry when she passed him to me, having tasted the salty ume with which she'd topped her rice.

"Oh, I know, you don't like salty stuff, do you little one," I cooed at him, smiling tenderly down at his scrunched little face. "No, you don't, and that's a good thing because too much salt is bad for you, yes it is." I sounded a little silly, but I didn't really care.

Kenji was already starting to giggle, the nasty taste forgotten as my hair tickled his little face.

"Memi!" he trilled happily. I thrilled to hear his nickname for me. He didn't speak much yet, but he did call some of us by name. It always overwhelmed me, when he did...

"You're really great with him, Megumisan," Yahiko said with clear admiration in his voice. "It's kind of funny, really, considering that you don't have any of your own."

Kenji had grabbed onto my hair and was happily tugging on it, so I shifted him to my shoulder where he could reach more easily and I could look up. The comment had hit home, though, and I suppose he noticed - or else someone kicked him under the table.

"Sumimasen. I didn't think," he said. Same old Yahiko.

"Daijoubu da, Yahiko. You're right, I don't." And what I did not say aloud was that with my thirtieth birthday creeping ever closer, I wasn't sure I was likely to do so, either. Kensan was past thirty when Kenji was born, but the rules for men were different, and I did not want to rush right into motherhood.

"Kenshin, you got any friends for Megumisan?"

I tried hard not to laugh; he really was trying. I couldn't stop from raising an eyebrow, however.

"Oro?" Kensan looked flabbergasted.

Kaoru was altogether shocked. "What are you doing? Do you think Megumisan couldn't find a boyfriend on her own if she wanted?"

The look on Genzaisensei's face was as priceless - and far more lecherous. "Oh come now, silly boy. She's staying with me! What woman in her right mind could want a better man?" He sent me a concerned glance behind the mask of his leer, knowing me as well as he did.

We all laughed at that, although my mentor managed to look properly indignant for a moment at least.

"Maybe Megumisan could have our teacher as a boyfriend! He'd be perfect!" Suzume just had to get hers in.

Her older sister, for once, got the second word. "Hey, yeah, Sensei's really smart! I think you'd like him, Megumisan!"

Kaoru looked thoughtful at the prospect. Kensan's expression was carefully neutral. Yahiko, however, loved the idea. "I knew these kids were smart," he smirked. "That could work..."

Kaoru was nodding. Oh dear. This seemed to have turned in a moment's time from a chance comment to a full scale household conspiracy. Suddenly I was afraid for my sanity, if not my singlehood... Couldn't I just be silently miserable over Kensan in peace? Did they have to throw someone at me?

They tossed the idea around, and next thing I knew, Kaoru was going to feel out the girls' teacher to see if he'd be interested in dating the lovely woman doctor. Sigh. I left Genzaisensei there, claiming exhaustion, and started the brief walk back to the dojo myself, letting my thoughts wander back to that seemingly long ago day...


	4. Chapter 4

Part IV - While I pondered, weak and weary...

I had felt content... I also knew, too well, that this was not my right. The man who held me now, and who had held my heart from the moment we'd met, belonged by rights to another.

"Megumidono?" If anything, his voice was softer than before, hardly more than a whisper in the cool darkness.

I made a small sound of inquiry, afraid to let go of the fragile moment. I felt his fingers beneath my chin, his silhouette searching for my eyes. I could make out his features, barely, but his vision was better than mine. The little light that filtered down from the moon gave him the advantage, showing him my own face more clearly.

"Megumidono, listen." he whispered. My heart began racing, but for a new reason. With him holding me the way he was, looking up at him I could feel his breath on my lips.

"Kensan, I -"

It was natural and almost inevitable. The moment had been years in coming. The situation was almost too perfect; it was almost as if the kami of fate had written this moment into being. I felt as if they were watching, waiting for it to happen. I was waiting for it to happen. I was dreading it would happen. And praying for it, too. I couldn't let it. But I couldn't move.

"Don't." He cut me off, stopping the words before I could get them past my lips. He was so close. I wanted this, ached for it with every ounce of my entire being. But as far as I was concerned, he belonged to another, and I couldn't bring myself that extra half inch. I couldn't do it.

"But you and Ka-"

Apparently, he could. And did. And it was all that I had imagined, asleep or awake. I did not count the kisses Kanryuu had forced on me. Those were not real, not true kisses. For him, they were machinations of hate and domination. For me, they were just part of the whole nightmare. But I knew what a kiss was, and how it worked, and this...

This worked. Every emotion of the recent days, and all of the feeling I had for Kensan, all came together in that close moment, overwhelming me as surely as his presence did. His lips on mine became my entire world for that moment.

This worked magic on me, transforming me from the pain-filled creature of frustrated angst I had been into someone who could feel joy and passion and love. The kiss didn't even last a full heartbeat, and yet, the simple warm pressure of his lips against mine reminded me that there were other lives in my care, and I was not to blame for this one's loss. I was not irredeemable. And I liked it.

And that like in turn became regret, almost before his lips had left mine. Because he wasn't mine. I had renounced my "claim" on him long ago.

How fiercely I wished I hadn't done that then... How I wanted to give in, to relax my body against his and let the voyeuristic gods have their thrills! I ached to surrender to his embrace, there on the hidden ground, deep in the woods away from everyone and everything we knew. I wanted him, I wanted to possess him and be utterly his all at once. And it would be so easy, almost too easy... And this wasn't like him. Not the tightly controlled warrior I knew. I think that's what held me back. That, and no small part of me thought that he did it just to distract me.

All that, in the space of a single heartbeat.

No matter how much I wanted him, I was not a creature prone to give in to moments of passion or weakness. Neither was he. The mere fact of our kiss was all the more surprising for being so unlike either of us, but I wasn't going to delve into any underlying meaning. I was afraid of what I might find.

But it felt so good...

"Kensan." I couldn't even whisper his name. I tried again. "Kensan, what just happened?"

He took a deep breath. "Megumidono." He leaned back a little, and I could feel his eyes on me again. "There was a question that had to be asked. This one asks your forgiveness." I didn't understand what he meant, then; I assumed it was something about us. Later, much later, I would come to the understanding that he had needed to know if I had given in to despair again. He was afraid I would once again try to kill myself. At the time, I'd thought he had wanted to find out if I still loved him even though he was well on the way to being involved with another woman. It angered me.

"I'd believe it of the tori-atama. Not of you, Kensan. This isn't right..." The anger faded back into sadness. "No matter how much I wish it were. It isn't... right." Those were quite possibly the hardest words I'd ever spoken, harder even than admitting defeat to little Mariko's parents, or any of the times I'd had to break such news to a heartbroken family. Harder even than what I had told Kaoru. I turned my head away. "Kensan... I have never stopped... caring for you. I probably never will. But far more importantly, I am your friend and your physician, and I..."

He waited for me to complete the thought. I couldn't speak. "What is it, Megumidono?" He seemed to sense my need to talk.

"I couldn't... fight her for you. I told her that I was not going to go after you. That she was free to do so if she chose. I told her that she was the reason you would return... Not me."

He still said nothing.

"I was being selfish. I was scared of losing you, and of losing my friends."

"Megumi." He sounded so surprised; I don't think he had been expecting all of that. At the time, it didn't even register that for the first time, ever, he had called me Megumi. Not Megumidono, but plain straightforward Megumi. Later I would wish over and over again that it had not been the only time.

He sighed, my name still hanging lightly on his lips. "I wish you weren't right." I tucked my head under his chin and we held on to each other. I wanted more. I knew that the temptation, no matter how great, could only lead to disaster at the best, and several shattered lives as the more likely outcome. Sometimes I think I could have pushed for something more intense; to this day I sometimes hate myself for it. I'm never sure whether I wish I did or I'm glad I didn't. Those moments are always brief, but no less piercing. I don't know, even now, if he truly felt that kiss the way I did. I don't know that I want to; I choose to think that it meant something to him. It's a small comfort to me, and doubtless false, but it helps. I believe I understand what he was asking, now. I would rather he had meant it as something other than a way to verify that I wouldn't kill myself.

He had left sometime after I fell asleep. Even the passion of the moment, no matter how one-sided, had no power over the other, more demanding needs of my body.


	5. Chapter 5

Part V

Tonight, however, sleep refused to come. For some reason, I could not get that long-past moment out of my mind. Over and over I replayed that kiss, the closeness. The foolishness on my part. I knew better. And yet still, even so many years later, I couldn't shake that moment. I had a moment of doubt; I should not have come from Aizu. Seeing him... Seeing THEM was too hard.

Genzaisensei was not home yet, and at this late hour I was reasonably confident that he and the girls would be spending the night at the dojo. The clinic was mine for the night, my responsibility and my haven. I had a sneaking suspicion that my partner had understood my need for solitude and had made that decision before we even sat down to dinner.

For a moment, I thought fondly of the old man, but it wasn't long before my thoughts turned back to Kensan.

And, as thoughts so often do, the memories raised those same feelings of frustration and desire and hope and fear. I could not leave the clinic long untended, but there were no patients spending the night and, at this late hour, emergencies were unlikely. I felt free to give in.

Rolling over on my futon, the sobs that I had been holding back for hours wracked my body as they had that long-ago day.

I had fallen asleep at some point, because the knock that interrupted my by then quiet night definitely startled me awake. Though I had no memory of actually going to sleep, the knock was real and no dream, for it came at the main clinic door. Instantly alert, I paused only to grab a wrap to cover my sleepwear and made my way quickly in the dark to the treatment area. A slight figure was silhouetted against the moonlight. Long hair tied back in a disheveled ponytail, he was leaning against the doorframe, somewhat short of breath. He was taller than I, though not by very much. I lit a lamp as I bid him enter. He had very broad shoulders and was in very good shape. His eyes were very dark and shadowed with worry.

"Gomen nasai, sensei. I don't want to disturb you so late at night, but one of my kids is sick, and can't stop coughing up. We wanted to try to wait until morning but I'm worried."

Suddenly I was on full alert. The niggling thought that there was a parallel and a reason for my mind working as it had was shoved aside roughly in the immediacy of the illness.

"Where?" I said, tying the wrap more securely and grabbing my kit. I followed him out into the street, only pausing briefly to post the notice board we'd had made that I was off on an emergency and that my partner was at the dojo in extreme need. Between Genzaisensei and myself, one or the other was at the dojo often enough that it made sense, and the price had been negligible. It was certainly neater than if one of us had done it ourselves...

He said it wasn't far, and as we ran through the streets to the sickbed, I asked him some background questions.

"She's only seven, one of the youngest ones," he said, and a part of me flinched. "Shortly after dinner she said she felt sick and wanted to lie down. She looked pale so I helped her set up her futon, but she was getting chills and sweating. She looked very poorly," he said, the worry evident in his voice. "She started being sick about two hours ago. It doesn't stop for long, and she's running a fever but she keeps complaining about how cold she is."

I asked if he knew if she had eaten anything unusual earlier in the evening, but he hadn't seen her do so.

"How many children do you have?"

"There are about six staying with me, at the moment... Most of them are day students."

Students? "Staying with you?"

"Hai. I'm sorry. I'm the new teacher at the school. Some of the students stay with me overnight, those who live too far to walk daily, or those with parents who work nights." At that moment, he entered the building to which I'd walked Ayame and Suzume many a time, and I filed the information away for later reference. At the moment, I had more important things to do.

He led me into a back room, where one of the older children was wiping the head of my new patient with a wet cloth.

"Sensei, is she going to be all right?" one of the others asked.

"The doctor is going to do all she can," he said. "Pray to the kami and stay out of her way, that's the best thing we can do right now." The warmth and concern in his tone helped to reassure the children in some small way, and did quite a bit for me as well. First, it showed that he really DID have a head on his shoulders, and that he knew how to use it. Secondly, he had faith both in the kami and in my abilities as a physician, despite the fact that we had never before met, and I wasn't sure that he knew my name.

It was with no small shock I realized that whatever this child before me had come in contact with was milder, but otherwise very similar to that poison which had been in Beshimi's dart all those years ago, meant for me but which had nearly killed young Yahiko instead. Jimsonweed? I wondered if the child had gotten hold of some, and how.

I told the young teacher - now, in the fairly well lit room, I could see he was probably midway between my age and Kensan's - to bring me the supplies I needed. The older child who had been wiping the younger's face came forward.

"I'm Takeshi. Chiyo's my little sister. Can I help?"

"Yes, Takeshi, you can. Do what you've been doing, help me keep her cool and give her a little bit of water when I'm done. She must not become dehydrated.

"I'm very proud of you, Takeshi. You're very brave."

"Sensei had me do it," the young boy admitted shyly. "He says that keeping busy is a good way to keep from being scared. And it's okay to be scared, as long as you don't give in."

I couldn't help but smile. "That's exactly what it means to be brave. Even when you're afraid, you just keep doing your best. Running away never helps anyone, but denying that you're afraid is just plain silly. I get afraid all the time," I admitted in a confidential tone, loud enough to be heard by all the children, "but if I gave in to it, I wouldn't be able to help Chiyo, or anyone else."

I had talked as I worked, and as the mentor of these children returned, I asked him to take the other children into another room. "This won't be very pretty. Takeshi, maybe you should stay with them?"

"But I wanna help!" Desperation and fear showed on his young face. "I'm scared but I'm scared to leave Chiyochan too!" He bit his lip and I wished I could take the time to hug him.

"I know. But I have to draw some blood, and that isn't very much fun. Maybe your sensei could stay here and help me, and you could watch the others for him? That would be very helpful and you wouldn't have to watch me."

He thought that over for a moment, then nodded - relieved, I think. He rounded up his friends and brought them into the school room. "We can practice some calligraphy for Chiyo and sensei," he told them.

"That is one amazing young man," I said, showing my impromptu assistant what I needed to do.

"They're all good kids," he agreed.

I nodded, and did my job.

I don't know how long it took, and I can't say we worked tirelessly, but neither did we give up despite our growing fatigue. Still, at last Chiyo's chills seemed to subside, and her dry heaves slowed and stopped. I sat back on my heels.

"From here on, it's up to her and the medicine," I said. "I'll arrange to send some over with the girls before I go to sleep. Genzaisensei will manage quite well without me this morning," I added ruefully as I noticed early morning light creeping through the windows.

"Wait a moment. You're Takani Megumisensei, aren't you? I'm sorry. I couldn't think of your name. Ayame and Suzume talk about you and their grandfather all the time. I suspect at least one of them wants to grow up like their 'Aunt Megumi'."

"They call me that?" I asked slowly. "They always call me "Megumisan" or "Megumineesan" when they want something, but I've never heard them call me their aunt." I was surprised, but very definitely pleased.

"And you didn't hear it from me, either." He smiled. "Let me just tell the others that Chiyochan is going to be better, thanks to our little school's new hero, Takani Megumisensei. Then I'll walk you back to the clinic."

"Oh, it really isn't necessary. It's not far at all, and you've had no more sleep than I. Probably less." I started to rise. "But I thank you for the offer. What is it?"

He had looked at me strangely as I stood. He turned away from me, his face flaming. "Araa... Your... umm.. Your robe..." He was as shy as Kensan had been when I'd first come back to the dojo with him. I looked down.

My face heated up as quickly as his had. I couldn't even be angry at him. He had turned away, after all. It was hardly his fault that the light wrap I had donned over the Western style nightgown had slipped. It was a nice one, too, for which I had saved up for quite some time before buying. Rich navy satin, with lots of soft lace and a rather immodest cut, I had intended to wear it for my husband. Since the occasion had never arisen, I bought it anyway and wore it when I needed to feel better. It had made me feel sexy and a little naughty until that moment; then suddenly I just felt as embarrassed as he looked.

Half a heartbeat later, my wrap was tied more tightly than ever and I gathered up the last of my supplies. "I'll send the medicine over with the girls when they come to school," I said over my shoulder as primly as I could manage. For some reason, he looked even more embarrassed.

Clutching my bag in front of me, I hurried through the door and made my way through the streets as quickly and unobtrusively as possible towards the clinic, where my futon and sleep awaited me eagerly.

Even as I walked, I was more aware of the thinness of my wrap and the sensual material of the nightgown against my skin. More upsetting was the increased awareness of the uncontrolled reaction my body had to the combination of the excitement of the moment, the apparent attention of an attractive man, and my own irrelevant attraction to him. In the darkness of the night, and in the urgency of the healing work we had done, what I wore had been almost as irrelevant as the cicadas chirruping outside. Now, in the burgeoning dawn, the light had revealed more of what I hadn't thought so carefully to hide, and people were beginning their morning routines. It was with no small relief that I slipped into the clinic door to find it as yet empty.

Beating a hasty retreat to my quarters, I scribbled a note to my partner, mixed the medicine carefully for young Chiyo, and left them both on the table for him to find before sliding back into my futon at long sweet last. Only as I drifted to sleep did I realize I had not even gotten the teacher's name.


	6. Chapter 6

Part Vi

Hands were on me; gentle, strong fingers were massaging my body in delicious ways. Sensations washed over me I was sure I couldn't have imagined; the exotic satin of my nightgown was cool and smooth and altogether very exciting against my bare flesh. I was as naked beneath as I had been earlier, when I had run to the school to save Chiyo behind the young teacher. I looked up at him as he knelt over me, smiling, his bare chest taut with smooth corded muscle beneath his fair skin, his hair trailing as dark and nearly as long as mine loose over his back and surprisingly broad shoulders for such a narrow waist. A swimmer's body, an athlete and no slouch in combat, I guessed in the small part of my rational mind left to me. I had no recollection of his arrival, or even of how we ended up alone here, but I found no reason to complain. Apparently, he had many skills...

I began to respond in kind, reaching up to touch him. "No, darling, let me do it, let me do everything for you," he whispered, his voice husky as he held my wrists lightly and bent down to kiss me again. "I want to please you, I want to give you everything, I want you to know ecstasy like you've never imagined..."

His very words heightened my senses. I could feel my heart racing in my chest and I was finding it very hard to lie still next to him. I wanted him closer, I wanted his body against mine, and I felt the desire for more, and that frightened me a little. I felt so wanton and so wanting, far more than I could recall ever having felt before. I was completely in his control, but he did nothing but respond to my body's demands even before I was aware of them myself.

His lips left mine to trail slowly down my throat. I could no longer function rationally at all; it was as if I had become a completely different person, happy to obey my instincts and throw caution to the winds. The most frightening part was that I simply didn't care. Unlike before, I didn't care about waiting for marriage. This was it, I knew that there was no point in waiting anymore.

I looked up to watch him again. As he turned his head in the light, murmuring my name, I noticed something I hadn't before. A scar. Two of them, in fact, one crossing the other. The light glinted red on his hair. His suddenly short hair...

"Megumidono... Megumidono, wake up... Megumidono?"

My eyes opened.

It was, in fact, Kensan kneeling next to me. Shorn hair and all. I wanted to scream, for a moment, frustrated on so many levels. Later I might reflect how funny it was that waking up to Kensan's face was upsetting at the time, but for the moment...

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up and pulling the covers close about me. My face was hot; after the intensity of the dream I'd been having, they had nearly slipped off altogether, and my already immodest nightgown was rather more revealing than when I hadn't been tossing and turning... Kensan was too busy looking somewhere over the top of my head.

"You've been asleep so long. Genzaisensei showed us the note but it's well past noon. The girls will be back soon from school. Are you okay? You looked like you were having a bad dream."

"It was fine, until I woke up," I snapped. Then I sighed. "Gomen nasai, Kensan. You didn't deserve that. And it wasn't a bad dream, exactly, just an intense one." Shrugging, I changed the subject and gave him a brief rundown of most of the prior night's events. Though the day was not cool, I remained cocooned in my blanket.

"I'll let you get dressed. There's some tea if you'd like," he said, still not looking at me and backing towards the door.

Once he was gone, I rose and dressed quickly, pausing to glance in my mirror. I looked as tired as I felt. Brushing my hair out helped, and I soon lost myself in the calming rhythm. Still, I was aware now that it was getting no earlier. Soon the girls would be home from school and it was my day to take them shopping. Normally, I enjoyed the outing. Today, despite my extended nap, I was so tired as to want to put it off. I wasn't going to do that to them, however, and I gathered my strength up as I went out into the main room, still trying to put the dream out of my head and control my physical reactions.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," my partner chided me gently. "Fortunately it's been a fairly slow day, as things go. Still, I got your note, which is why I didn't wake you." He sent me a glance I knew to be a question.

"It was after midnight when someone knocked at the clinic door. I figured it had to be an emergency, since none of you ever knock there, and I was right..." I proceeded to tell him the story, leaving out the embarrassing moment at the end, but sparing him no detail of the treatment I'd arranged for young Chiyo. Kensan had gotten the abridged version; Genzaisensei and I shared a professional curiosity, and I wanted his feedback. Granted, he was limited by what I could tell him, but his knowledge was so much more extensive than my own, based on his greater number of years and experience. I was always willing to learn, as I reminded him frequently, from my elders.

We discussed the case some more, pondering alternative treatments that might be more effective. I pointed out the similarities to Yahiko's case, back in The Days, and Genzaisensei mentioned simple household products and plants that could evince the same or a similar reaction. At some point, Kaoru wandered in, Kenji asleep in her arms. I did my best not to notice as she made her way to Kensan's side.

It wasn't long before we were interrupted altogether by the excited sounds of the girls returning home - and apparently they had a guest.

The male laughter I heard was familiar, though I could swear I'd never heard it before. It was a tone as familiar to me as those of my friends of many years, though I'd met him only once, and the situation had inspired no laughter.

The girls' voices proceeded them into the yard, ringing with even more enthusiasm than usual. "Come on, Sensei! You have to tell Megumisan about Chiyo and how much better she is!"

"Yeah! Takeshi couldn't stop talking about how you helped her with Chiyo. Megumisan's the best there is!"

"Yeah! Except maybe Grandpa." This Suzume said, looking somewhat chastened, as she entered the yard. Both her hands were clamped around that of the young teacher I had met last night. The man was amazing. He managed to keep any reaction other than amusement at the girls' antics off his features, though I thought I detected a hint of color along the top of his ears. It was, Kami help me, cute.

Her sister, grasping his other hand firmly, almost dropped it at her sister's reminder. "Well, yeah, Grandpa's the best, but... I know! He's the best BOY doctor! Megumisan's the best GIRL doctor!"

We all shared a laugh at that, and finally the young man was able to free himself from the girls. "I can see where the girls get their warmth from. Your home is a welcoming one. It is my honor to teach them." He bowed, low and formally, to my mentor. "Ishioka Hiro. Hajimemashite."

"Hajimemashite." Introductions went around the room, rather informally since the young teacher had met most of us already.

"And of course you've already met Takani Megumi, although I suspect the formalities were neglected," my mentor teased.

"Under the circumstances, I think it's understandable," Kaoru chimed in. "How is your student doing?"

"She's healing well. She's still not feeling well, but the worst is over, and now she's mostly getting her strength back. Thanks to Takanisensei," he said, bowing to me, "Chiyochan's going to be fine, and we all appreciate her efforts more than words can express. In fact, that's one of the reasons I allowed the girls to talk me into coming here with them," he smiled down at the young sisters.

"We told Sensei that you don't like to take presents, 'cause you like to make people feel better."

"He still said he wanted to give you something."

"Actually, I did, but it's from Takeshichan." From his sleeve, he produced a carefully folded paper. The writing on it was hardly neater than my own, but had the careful deliberation of a child's determined hand. The note was short and sweet, and beautifully illustrated. Takeshi's note was one of gratitude, carefully written, but the simple bamboo and cranes with which he'd decorated the letter were amazing. I told his teacher so.

"He wanted to draw a thousand cranes; he said you were a wish come true to save his sister like that. He's wanted to be an artist, so far. I think he may be changing his mind."

"There's no reason he can't be an artist in addition to some other job," my mentor said.

"It's funny you should say so, Genzaisensei, because he seems to be fascinated with the medical profession above all else. He wants to be 'a miracle worker like that beautiful doctor.'"

"Ooh, seems you have an admirer," Kaoru teased me. I glared at her.

"Grandpa, I'm hungry." Suddenly I loved Suzume. She may have saved the silly country girl's life in that moment. I'd have wondered, but she looked at me and grinned. What a good child!

"Me too. Megumisan, is it okay if we don't go shopping today? I'm too hungry," Ayame echoed. "What's for dinner?"

"Maybe we could go to the Akabeko? We haven't been there in a while." Kensan looked hopeful. No one could blame him.

"Hai! And Yahiko's working tonight, maybe we can get him to wait on us!" Kaoru snickered, and Kenji made as if to wake up.

She shushed him softly, and he stayed asleep. "This is the first time he's slept all day, and I fully intend to make the most of it," she said softly.

"Then are you sure a restaurant is a good idea?" I suspected that the noisy atmosphere at our favorite restaurant would be a bit much for the tired child.

"If he wakes up, I'll take him outside, I guess."

I shrugged. "Well, I think it's decided then."

"Can sensei come?"

"Please?"

"Yes, may I? Please? I don't get to dine out often, and since I don't really know anyone yet outside of the parents of some of my students, it would be nice to visit with people who aren't insistent on knowing exactly what goes on in my class all the time..." Ishiokasan looked at least as hopeful as Suzume and Ayame next to him.

"I don't see why not." Kensan smiled and started for the door. "Let's go?"

"Sure, come on," his wife echoed, following. I hung back. I wasn't entirely sure I was hungry; more importantly, this smacked of the conspiracy they had to get me to Meet Someone New.

And in all honesty, as attracted as I was to Ishioka Hiro, I was not in the mood to be set up. If anything, the idea that my friends WANTED me to do something about it made the attraction all the more upsetting.

"Takanisensei, aren't you coming?" The man in question, with a child on each hand, stopped in the doorway with a concerned look.

"I should catch up on some work here. Tomorrow I've got several house calls to make," I said. It wasn't a lie, either.

"Well, it was nice meeting you, Takanisen-"

"No! You're coming with us, Megumineesan!" I melted. What choice did I have?

"I think my mind has been changed for me," I said. "I'll be along in a moment."

"We can wait," Suzume said rather pointedly.

I sighed and retreated for a moment. I hadn't worn lip color in a while. Not since Kensan had married Kaoru, truth be told. I looked at it for a moment, debated as I ran a brush through my hair. I had already turned away when I found the brush in my hand. Shrugging at myself, I put it on... I had forgotten what that small bit of color did for my otherwise pale features.

No one said anything, but I could tell they noticed.

"Ikimashou," I said mildly as I entered the yard. If no one else was going to say anything, I certainly wasn't.

The walk to the Akabeko was full of chatter, mostly from the youngest members of the party. They had refused to let go of their teacher's hands and were still dragging him willingly down the street as they babbled happily. They really were getting too old for such things but they were so excited that I decided to let it go for now. Otherwise I'd probably be forced to confront the whole issue. That was something I was not ready to deal with; it was the two in question who'd first thought up their teacher as "a perfect boyfriend for Megumisan".

I was secretly proud of the little schemers. My only wish was that I had not been chosen as the object of their conspiracy...

"Youkoso, minna!" Tae's effusive greeting rang out as we entered her establishment. "Hey, aren't you the new sensei at the school?"

"Hai. Hajimemashite." Ishiokasensei introduced himself to Taesan, and she returned the favor with an appraising glance. Apparently she liked what she saw. Not that I could entirely blame her.

"Come, sit down, and you can tell me all about it. I haven't seen you in a while," she said. "Will you look at him!" This time, however, her eyes were on Kenji. "He's grown so much in just a few weeks..." She sounded as rueful as I felt.

Then again, Tae had never really expressed much of an interest in having a family. She claimed that running the Akabeko took up so much of her time and energy that it WAS her family. She had plenty of regular customers with whom she had good relationships. "Why stress myself more," she'd once said, "with people who want me to cook and clean for them, when I'm not getting paid for it?" None of us had yet found any argument with which to refute that. "Isn't that why I have customers like Sano?" If there had been any question of it before, that settled the discussion.


	7. Chapter 7

Part VII

Three weeks had passed, and Ishioka Hiro became a regular visitor to both the clinic and the dojo. It was clear to all of them that though he was fond of the girls, he genuinely enjoyed the company of the doctor - and she seemed to like him. Even Kaoru, however, was getting annoyed that all they ever seemed to do was talk of intellectual things. She was reasonably sure that they never saw each other away from their friends or his school.

"What is WITH those two," she seethed one day to her husband. Her son cooed in his father's arms as they watched Kaoru and Yahiko training. Kenshin smiled at his wife's evident frustration.

"Well, Ishiokadono is very shy."

"Megumi isn't."

"Maybe Megumidono is waiting for him to assert himself?"

Kaoru snorted. "Yeah. She does go for the aggressive type, sort of," she said. Suddenly embarrassed, she picked up the pace. Yahiko shook his head, smiling, and kept up. Sometimes listening to his teacher was even more entertaining than baiting her - it certainly hurt him less!

Kenji gurgled. "Oro! Kenji, PLEASE don't do that!" Pausing a moment, Kaoru and Yahiko glanced over to see that Kenshin's son had grabbed hold of a lock of his hair and was pulling with all of his young might.

Kaoru smiled fondly. "Definitely his father's son..."

"You ain't that weak yourself, you ugly toad," Yahiko snickered. Kaoru was too distracted to be upset, watching her husband try to extricate himself from his son's grip.

Still struggling to free his hair, Kenshin looked at his wife. "Please don't think about getting involved... It is their situation," he said quietly.

"Kenshin, if they don't do SOMETHING about it, I am going to have to hurt them both!"

"It's only been a few weeks. Remember, I was... shy... before we got together," the redhead reminded the hothead.

"And don't think I wasn't ready to hurt you for it then either!" With a glare, Kaoru resumed practice. Yahiko followed suit without missing a beat. "It's simple, really. All we have to do is get them to go out on a date. But Megumi's going back to Aizu soon, so it better be VERY soon."

"Get who to go out on a date?" Genzai leaned on the doorpost, looking for all the world as if he'd come for no other purpose than juicy gossip.

"Kaoru thinks Megumisan and Hirosan need to go on a date so they can confess their love for each other and get married so she doesn't have to be afraid that Kenshin may still fall for Megumi anyway," Yahiko sniggered.

"Orororo..." Kenshin hung his head in despair, while Kaoru used Yahiko for target practice.

Genzai danced around gleefully before sinking into deep thought. "That may not be a bad idea. She has been somewhat distracted lately. And they do seem to get along well."

"I think Megumisan needs Hirosan to take the initiative... She's really sensitive about that sort of thing," Kaoru said, as if the earlier conversation had never happened.

"I wonder," Genzai mused. It was all true. He knew his associate well enough to understand that she needed someone to chase her, to show his interest in her. She was too proud to lower herself to openly expressing an interest in a man she wasn't sure of, but it was clear that she was interested. She had proven many a time that she was no fool in matters of the heart. Generally speaking. Shrugging, the old doctor straightened up. "Well, does anyone have any bright ideas, or am I going to have to lock them in the clinic?"

"Maa, maa, I don't think we need to go that far, Genzaisensei." Kenshin smiled, having finally gotten Kenji's fist distracted with something other than his hair. As a matter of fact, the little boy was clinging to his father's finger and hanging free, giggling maniacally.

"KENSHIN! YOU DO NOT LET MY SON DANGLE LIKE THAT!" Kaoru was in his face, and he backed off, son now tucked under one arm and the other raised in a placating gesture.

"He's fine, Kaoru. If there was any reason to worry, you know I know better."

"Kensan, were you letting your son hang from your finger again?" I had heard Kaoru's outraged squawk from the road outside as I came in.

"!AGAIN!" I was hardly surprised when a flock of birds flew away from several streets over; my friend's screech was so sharply indignant. I couldn't help it, I snickered.

"Oh, please, Kaoruchan. You know Kensan would never endanger anyone, least of all his own son." I shook my head at her. She was still fuming. "I came to see if anyone wanted to come to the clinic for dinner tonight."

Kenshin blinked, but Genzai grinned. "Actually, Megumisan, I came to ask them if they'd keep an eye on the girls. I'm going to meet some old friends and I didn't want to impose on you tonight. I thought you could use a real night off, since you've been staying with the girls so often lately."

I blinked this time. "This is unexpected," I said cautiously.

"It's really no problem with us," Kaoru said hurriedly. "We miss having the girls here lately. And I know if I were you I'd kill for a night to myself..." Her voice trailed off wistfully and I understood what she meant. So did Kensan. He winced, embarrassed.

"But tonight is fine! Go have a good time, Genzaisensei! Don't worry about the girls. And Megumisan, if you don't have a nice relaxing time tonight..." The threat in her voice was clear - not that my friend ever had a problem hiding it when she was annoyed or preparing to be. How was I supposed to argue with that, with Kensan and my colleague nodding?

"Well, if you don't need me, then I'm off to work," Yahiko grinned. In the past few years, he had learned much about the restaurant business and several of us suspected that, when Tae decided in the very distant future to retire, that he and Tsubamechan would be taking over in her stead. He was proving to be quite adept at managing figures and ill-mannered customers, and was a decent hand in the kitchen as well.

"See you later!"

"Bring us some leftovers," Kaoru said. "I'm not going to be in the mood to make breakfast."

"When are you ever?" her student quipped, ducking out of the way of her bokken and slipping inside to change.

Kaoru only shrugged. "I can't really argue with him when he's right," she grinned.

So, I was to be left alone tonight. Alone with my thoughts. I didn't like the sound of it, but how could I possibly say so, without causing everyone to worry? Going back to Aizu was more and more tempting; I was beginning to think I should cut my visit short.

"Hirosan should be here with the girls any moment," my mentor said. "Once they're here, I'm going to duck back to the clinic to get ready. I'll probably be very late, Megumisan. We're going drinking!" he said with particular relish. I sighed. Drunken Genzaisensei was NOT a pretty sight. "Lucky for you," he continued, "they'll be paying for a room for the night anyway, so I won't be stumbling in at some horrible hour!"

That was a bit of a relief, but still, I didn't want to stay the night alone. Nothing to do but make the best of it. Maybe I'd draw myself that long bath I'd been wanting. The mere thought of hot water easing out all my tension, of drowsing off in a delicious floating haze of relaxation, was a sore temptation - the more so for the likelihood of interruptions being reduced to nil, as long as no one had an emergency. Maybe being alone tonight wasn't such a bad thing...

"Grandpa!" Two voices in unison interrupted my thoughts and two laughing girls catapulted off the hands of their teacher to dance adoringly around the old man who greeted them with an enthusiastic hug.

"Girls, Kenshin and Kaoru have invited us to stay for dinner, but I'm going to meet some other old doctors and have a long boring night," he said. Suzume and Ayame snickered; they knew better.

"Grandpa, can we stay here tonight?" With a shy glance in my direction, Suzume said less loudly, "I think Megumisan needs a night off."

I smiled at them. I loved the girls very much, and in fact they had become part of the family I had made for myself, but it was true that I had gotten my hopes up for a solitary evening with a hot bath and a good medical text. I blinked at myself; was I really getting that boring?

"What is it, Megumidono?"

"Iie... It's nothing. I found myself looking forward to the latest medical journals. I must be getting old," I said ruefully.

"Oh, not that, never that, Takanisensei!"

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes, but I couldn't help smiling.

I turned my steps towards the clinic, promising I'd see everyone tomorrow and no, I would not get attacked, assaulted, abducted, aggravated, or otherwise antagonized during my one solitary night alone. Somehow, none of them believed me. Admittedly, my track record indicated differently, but I was a firm believer in change.

About three hours later, I was finally crawling out of the remains of a hot bath, my skin more wrinkled than a prune and still flushed from the heat. I felt deliciously relaxed, and didn't bother getting dressed again, even keeping my hair in the towel. O Indulgence! I walked around my room wearing the towel on my head and the one on my body, just because I could. Still, I couldn't bring myself to move outside my room thus clad; I curled up as I'd threatened to do with the latest medical journals and thumbed through them.

A knock on the clinic door disturbed my concentration. Actually, I had begun to doze off, if the truth be known, and the towel had come loose.

"Just a moment," I called, praying that this wasn't an emergency and I could send whoever it was quickly on their way.

"Megumisensei? It's me, Ishioka Hiro... do you have a moment?"

"Is everything all right?" I asked, pulling on my kimono.

"Yes, everything is fine. Kaorusan told me I could find you here."

I raised my eyebrows. Oh, the dojo crowd would be hearing about this tomorrow! It had been their idea, after all, to allow me my solitude. But then to have... Oh. OH no.

Of course they had. Why was I surprised by this? That's it. Magic mushroom mix for all of them. Sigh.

I decided not to tie my kimono properly, and answered the door, towel still atop my head. "Then what is it?"

He said nothing for a moment, staring at me in shock. I had planned not to feel self conscious but something about the way he was acting was making me very uncomfortable. I took a half step back, pulling the loose kimono tighter around my neck.

"I... aahh... Gomen nasai, Megumisensei. I was... that is, I'd been wondering... But I..."

And then I GOT IT. Poor Hirosan was a pawn, and I was a pawn, and we were supposed to play their game. Well, why not? After all, it was I who they thought would be entertained.

"Come in," I said, stepping aside. I put on a sultry expression. If that's what they thought they wanted me to have, then why should I disappoint? It seemed to me that because of the part of my past they knew, they expected me to fulfill the apparent promises I had once made of "entertainment". To the contrary, my experience – I should specify, my voluntary experience with men was extremely limited. What Takeda Kanryuu had done to me could not be counted.

He stepped inside, reminding me more of a nervous horse than anything else. His words tripped over themselves like a raw adolescent meeting a girl for the first time. His eyes were struggling to look anywhere but at me – much like Kensan on many occasions, the idea of looking at me seemed to terrify him.

He was a beautiful man, I mused. Certainly that dream had not been unwarranted, and I might consider something with him once things got to be more comfortable with us. For now, I mostly planned to frighten him off, and few knew better than I how an aggressive woman could break a man down.

"I have to ask; did Kaoru send you or did you come looking for me on your own?"

"She, ahh, sent me." His face grew redder still.

"Because you were wondering?"

"I was wondering if you would mind coming to the school one day actually to teach the kids a little about some basic medicine," he said, his eyes fixed on the wall somewhere above and behind my left shoulder.

I blinked. That wasn't quite what I had been expecting. "And for this she sent you now?"

"She said you were probably reading some boring medical journals and would be grateful for the interruption."

I sighed. "Hirokun, you've been had." I used the overly familiar name deliberately.

Finally he looked at my face. "Huh?"

I shook my head. "Kaoruchan thinks I need a lover. Apparently she and her cohorts in crime have decided you'll do." I could not keep the sarcasm from my voice. Interestingly, he went very pale, then very red again.

"They want… What?" he finally choked out.

Was this guy dense or what? I'd just spelled it out as black-and-white as I could. "I have to be honest with you, I do find you a very attractive man. But I love Kensan, and I don't believe that there is another man in this country who could possibly make me feel the way he does." There had been, perhaps, one other, but I was reasonably sure he was not in the country. And he had been gone for years now; I did not believe he would ever come back in spite of the letter he'd sent. "Besides, I'll be going back to my own clinic in Aizu very soon. And while it's very kind of them and you to try…" I trailed off; the look on his face was so peculiar, I could not narrow it down to any one particular emotion.

"Megumisensei, I… I'm flattered. Terribly flattered. But there's one small problem." He looked ready to laugh, or cry. It might have been both; I could not be sure. "You are very probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. And I don't doubt there would be a great many men honored to be so well regarded as to even be considered worthy of you for even a moment.

"Unfortunately, well… There's no easy way to say this," he said, looking uncomfortable.

"You're married?" It was not entirely uncommon for married couples to live apart.

He shook his head. "I'm not. Nor will I ever be. It isn't anything personal, Megumisensei," he could not look at me as he said this, and I began to take it personally anyway. "You're not my type." Something in the way he said it made me pause.

"I know my propensities are not always well regarded, and so I stay quiet about myself. Let's see. I guess you could say, I find Himurasan himself more to my tastes, although he's a bit… scrawny for me." His face was so red at this time, and I could feel myself blushing to match him. And here I had thought he was hoping to seduce me!

"Well," I said finally. "This is awkward indeed."

"Yes. Yes it is." He agreed ruefully, casting me a wary glance. I caught his eye and suddenly we were both laughing, the tension gone as though it had never been there.

"I'd be more than happy to teach the children some basic first aid," I said once we finally regained some composure. "You're certainly welcome to stay a while, if you'd like. At least it would give those busybodies something to occupy themselves with." I sighed in irritation.

"And if I left?"

"If you left, I'd go back to reading medical journals. Which, by the way, are not boring."

"And your friends?"

I sighed again. "Let them think what they want," I rolled my eyes. "They will anyway."

"I could give you a backrub," he said slyly.

"I could fall in love with you after all," I grinned.

"Whoah, hold up!" he said, feigning panic. We laughed again and I allowed him to give me the best massage I'd had in, oh, probably ever. The thought wobbled its way to the surface that it was a shame to waste such dexterity, but I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until Hirosan snickered.

"Oh, I agree. It's a waste to have such a beautiful back stuck on a woman." I was too relaxed to argue, and as he kneaded away the last of the tension that hot water hadn't soothed, I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning, feeling more rested than I had in a long time. Hirosan had gone, of course, but left a brief note thanking me for understanding and requesting that I keep the truth to myself. He suggested I tell anyone who asked that he was married and trying to bring his wife to live with him. Later, he thought, she could have found another husband and decided not to move with him after all. I knew that Kensan and Kaoru would assume that we had indeed been intimate – and the truth of the matter was, Hirosan's massage was far more satisfying than I'd ever imagined such intimacy could be. I felt almost luxurious as I rose and prepared for the day. Genzaisensei should be returning shortly, and who knew what shape he'd be in after a night of drunken debauchery with his lecherous friends?

I had a feeling he was going to want every intimate detail. I was inordinately fond of Oguni Genzai, who was a wonderful mentor, but the old man was a total pervert. I almost hated to disappoint him… Almost.

I opened the doors and looked outside; it promised to be a beautiful day. I had good friends who were like a family to me.

In the nearly three years since the chaos following Kensan's final duel with Enishi, things had been quiet, almost boring. I, at least, was fairly content with the way things were. Yes, I was lonely and would not mind a companion in my life, but perhaps things were better this way. I had enjoyed my visit, and would stay a little longer, but it would be time to return soon. There was only one other thing I truly wanted fiercely, but I was not yet ready to face that particular road alone. Japan was (largely) at peace and if things got to be a little boring sometimes, what difference did it make? Boring, I was learning, was no bad thing.


	8. Chapter 8

Part 9:

Cleanup was going slower than usual, it seemed; even with the girls helping Genzaisensei and myself, time just dragged on forever. All I could feel was a very mild regret about the whole situation. Though it had been many weeks since that potentially awkward night arranged by my friends for which I'd finally decided even to forgive them, it was at last clear even to them that Ishioka Hiro and I were not compatible in the romantic sense. We could never be more than friends, and I was okay with that. I'd agreed never to reveal his secret, though it didn't seem to be such a big deal to me. Part of me wished something could have come of it, sometimes.

Today was as dreary as late autumn could be. The morning had gone slowly, lunch had been no swifter. This afternoon was positively dragging. The air was becoming heavy with an approaching storm; it would be raining heavily by morning. I still hated the rain, sometimes, on the darker nights...

"Megumisan, are we out of willow bark?"

"Not yet, but we have been running low. I'll check; I know I need to run an inventory again."

"We'll help!" Ayame and Suzume were actually very good at organizing things, when they wanted to be helpful. They didn't know much about the medicines and herbs we used, but they shared a gift for creating a logical system of storage. They were practically climbing all over each other today, trying to be good. I think they still felt bad after trying to start something between me and their sensei. Not that it was their fault, not hardly! He was a wonderful young man. He just wasn't THE wonderful young man for me. Even had all else been equal, he was just too... Tame. I needed someone with more... Spine?

Sighing, I dismissed the thought and studied the medicinal cabinet. The girls brought things out and put them away while I noted levels in each jar.

"Are you gonna be able to read that, Megumineesan?" Ayame was peering over my shoulder.

"I'll have you know that as a doctor, I can read just about anything," I informed her primly.

She shrugged. "If you're sure," she said.

"So young, and so skeptical!" my colleague snorted.

"Oh, because your handwriting is so spectacularly neat," I scoffed.

"I'm a doctor. I don't need neat handwriting, as long as my stitches are even!"

I conceded the point gladly, and leveled a superior look at Ayame. She looked unimpressed.

"Now, Ayamechan, don't go picking on Grandpa and Megumineesan... It's not their fault they don't have enough room in their heads to know good penmanship. They have to hold all that medical stuff." Suzume chided her sister as primly as I. Genzaisensei and I shared a look; was that a compliment, or not?

We tacitly agreed to let it go.

"I think that's everything," I said, looking at my notes. I was reasonably sure that was "aloe leaf" I'd written. Wasn't it?

"Are you going now? Maybe the girls can come with you to help carry."

I shook my head. "No, that's all right. I know going shopping with me can be boring, when it's for medicine," I smiled at the girls who looked relieved. "I won't be long. There are only a few things we really need, and I can get them quickly. Besides, they have homework to do."

At that, the relief fell away from two young faces. "We'd rather go buy medicines. Besides, you're leaving in two days. We want to spend more time with you."

"Yeah."

Genzaisensei shrugged. "Be that as it may, Megumisan has a point. To your books, girls."

It didn't take much to prepare for my short jaunt. I was almost to the door, doublechecking to make sure I had enough money, when a long, lean shadow fell across the doorway. The girls were off somewhere, studying; doubtless Genzaisensei was with them.

"I'm home. Oiy, Kitsune, what's for lunch?"

Time froze. I froze. That voice... If anything, it was deeper than I remembered. The devil-may-care attitude was exactly the same, however, and the willingness to leech.

I looked up. It was hard to keep my tone arch, condescending. "You haven't changed one bit, have you."

"Probably not," he said, leaning in the doorframe. "So?"

I covered the short distance between us and studied him for a long moment. Actually, he had; I could see the intervening years had not left him untouched. Slight traces of lines around his eyes, shoulders broader even than when I'd last seen him, more than a hint of stubble… His hair was much longer, and he had a wilder, more untamed look. But there was something else that was indefinably... different.

Somehow he didn't look too uncomfortable under my scrutiny. He was doing a very good job of playing annoyed. "I asked what's for lunch," he said. "After all the time that I've been gone, the least you could do is feed me."

"No, you really haven't changed. Except you need to shave." I shook my head, trying to figure out what it was that had changed, something just beneath the surface.

"Why should I? Not like anyone ever complained about it," he cracked with a grin.

"I don't have time to worry about making you lunch. I'm going back to Aizu next week." I looked up at him. "My clinic is doing well but not so well that I can leave it forever." I was trying to keep my tone formal but it was so difficult... I was beginning to realize what it was.

"Good to see you too, Kitsune," Sanosuke growled. He sounded good, even if he looked like he'd been dragged around the world.

"Do Kensan and the others know you're back yet?"

He nodded. "I stopped by there first. Jouchan told me you were here. The midget looks just like his dad, don't he?" I could feel him watching my face carefully for any reaction, but I managed not to flinch. Much. His eyes narrowed. "Sou. That's still the way of it, then?"

"Sano, it's been that way since the moment I met all of you. However, in case you hadn't noticed, things have changed somewhat since then."

"Oh, I noticed," he said, and that slow grin spread across his face. It was some time before he spoke again.

I wanted to be infuriated by that grin. I sighed instead.

"I'd ask if you missed me, but you never answered my original question, which is far more important."

"Which was?"

"What's for lunch?"

"I may have changed, but you certainly haven't!" I turned away. "I was on my way to restock some supplies. I suppose if you care to take a walk, I suppose we could get something to eat while we talk."

"I could manage a short walk," he said plaintively. "It'll be good to have proper Japanese food again. No one does it like home cooking," he grumbled.

"I think I know what you mean," I said. Out in front of the clinic, the girls were practicing their hiragana in the dirt under their grandfather's supervision. The reunion was sweet to watch, and though my colleague seemed quite happy to see Sanosuke again, it was me on whom he kept his most careful eye. I supposed that Sano's return so soon after what they all believed to be my recent heartbreak had him concerned.

When the girls finally let him go, Sano stood up and flung the white cloak back over his shoulder. Cloak? When did Sagara Sanosuke start wearing a cloak? Then I began to notice other differences; not just his hair or his stubble (which now that I looked at it, was more than simple stubble), but his entire demeanor. His outfit was completely different - although somehow since I had turned my back on him, he was still chewing those filthy fishbones.

It didn't matter. He was here, now. That niggling little feeling that had hovered in the back of my mind for years burst into bloom. "Let's go," I said simply. I studied him out of the corner of my eye as we walked.

"Lunch first?"

"Fine," I said, tossing my hair at him. He wasn't fooled; it seemed he'd mellowed in the intervening years.

"Is the Akabeko still there?"

"Yes," I said. "But I'm not sure Taesan will let you in the door."

"Oh, she will," he smirked. "I have a little something for her." He stopped and pulled from his satchel a thin board. I looked again – it was two boards. He separated them and showed me two beautiful nishiki-e artworks. Painted by his old friend Tsukioka, who Taesan and Tsubame both utterly adored, the watercolors showed a very familiar pair of faces.

It was Kensan and Sanosuke. I was impressed. I said so.

"He gave me one for everyone, but I think Tae would kill me if she didn't get first dibs," he grinned.

"She'll kill you for having let your tab go for so many years," I pointed out. He said nothing, just smirked infuriatingly. Why was I so happy to see him, again…?

"Welcome to the Akabe—You! I shouldn't even let you in this door!" Tae's customary polite greeting cut off abruptly at the sight of my companion. "I'm sorry, Megumisan, but with his tab, and all the interest he's accrued over the past several years, I should have taken his apartment except that Yahiko lives there now."

"Yeah well, I ain't stayin' too long in Tokyo," Sano said nonchalantly. "I'm goin' to Aizu in a week."

Tae and I both turned to look at him. "Are you now?" I wasn't even sure if it was she or I asking him.

"Yeah. The Kitsune's gonna need someone to keep her busy all the way up there. Let us in. I brought you something," he added.

Tae looked at me.

"What're you lookin' at her for? Don't you trust me?" Sanosuke seemed offended. I couldn't imagine why.

"It's true, Taesan. He has a present I think you might enjoy. For you and Tsubamechan both."

Tsubame, hearing her name, came over to us. "Sanosukesan! You're back!" The smile that lit her features warmed me; she and Yahiko were indeed well suited. She was always so calm and sweet, she kept him balanced. "Yahikokun! Come see who's here!"

"These are for you two," Sano said, pulling out the nishiki-e he had just shown me.

"It's Kenshinsan and you! And it's by Tsukiokasama!" Tae all but dissolved into a puddle of happiness, Tsubame right behind her.

"What's all the fuss," Yahiko said. "Oh. It's you," he said with a tilt of his head, but the grin that accompanied the words threatened to split his face in half. He stuck his hand out.

"Ahh, c'mere, ya brat," Sano said, pulling him in and scrubbing the top of Yahiko's head with his knuckles.

"Who're you callin' a brat?" Yahiko glared from under Sano's arm.

Tae and Tsubame were still thoroughly basking in the Tsukioka-art-induced glow, so Yahiko led us to a table and took our order. Sano indeed asked for miso soup and rice, as his last letter had threatened.

"That's it?"

"Yeah, for now. You can't imagine how much I've missed good miso soup," Sano said. Neither Yahiko nor I could quite stop looking at him, for different reasons. Finally the younger man turned to bring our order to the kitchen.

"Hey!"

Yahiko turned at Sano's outcry. "What now?"

"I just noticed. You have something on your back," Sano grinned. There was something different now, something… proud? Indulgent? The thought that here was a man who would be a good father crossed my mind. I immediately took a page from Kaoruchan's book and beat that thought down within an inch of its life. Then I took a page from Sano's, and I kicked the thought a few times for good measure.

Yahiko grinned in return, the cocksure grin that was a combination of Sano's and his own special brand of insolence. "It's all Tsubame's fault. You know how she goes for the bad boys." Turning back around, he continued to the kitchen with a jaunty step.

Sanosuke was chuckling. I shook my head. "You truly did warp that boy's mind, you know."

"Ain't it great?"

I felt the beginnings of a headache coming on.

"Hey, Fox, you don't mind, do you? Me goin' to Aizu with you? I've… uh… learned how to do my own laundry," he finished lamely.

All these years and he still knew how to keep me unbalanced. It wasn't just the laundry thing either. "Sanosuke… I don't know what you expect, but my clinic and my patients must always come first. I can't be a proper hostess to you while you're visiting."

He shook his head. "I'm not talkin' about a visit. All this time there was only one thought that never changed. 'Someday I'm goin' back for her.' The day I watched you get into that carriage, it was just before they came after me, and I thought I was doing the dumbest thing in the world, lettin' you leave like that. I don't ever plan to say goodbye again. If you'll have me."

"What are you saying…?" Was he asking what I thought he was asking?

"I'm sayin' I know you're a doctor first. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll do my best to stay out from underfoot. I might even find a job, if you're real nice," he grinned again, but it faded quickly. "Fox… No. Megumi, I wanna marry you."

Yahiko dropped our soup. Quietly, Tsubame (having put the precious artwork away safely) came over and cleaned up while Yahiko stood with his jaw on the floor with the soup bowls. I understood the feeling. My expression must have been no less flabbergasted.

"Marry me?" A hundred thousand storms broke in my mind. I had resigned myself to a life of solitude, surrounded by men who despised what I represented, friends who were in awe of me, and strangers who didn't care as long as they got the care they needed. Now, this man…

Sanosuke. Who I had known for less than six months before we were separated for as many years. This man, who had barely been back in my life for half an hour, with whom I had never been able to spend more than two minutes without any conversation devolving into a sarcasm war, was asking me to marry him.

Sagara Sanosuke. Did I love him? Yes. There was no question in my mind of that. But love… Love can't pay the bills. It doesn't clean up the bathroom or sit up with a sick child til all hours of the night. It doesn't cook or do laundry or massage stiff shoulders at the end of a long day. It helps, unquestionably, but I needed more than love.

Overwhelmed, I responded the only way I could. "After all this time, I had hoped you might have changed. The least you could have done was propose properly," I said with a toss of my head. I focused on the ends of my hair, pretending I was looking for split ends.

"I wasn't planning this. I didn't know until I saw you again how much I needed you. I never stopped thinkin' about you but the minute I saw you at the clinic, I knew I had to go wherever you went. I don't care about the law bein' after me (although I hope they gave up on that) or about any of the rest of it. Like I said, Aizu ain't that far away that I can't visit everyone else. But you, I don't just wanna visit you. I need you, Megumi. I don't care what it takes. 'Kensan' made the biggest mistake of his life when he chose Jouchan. I'm not gonna be as stupid as he was. I ain't gonna let you out of my sight ever again. I may not be all that, but you make me want to be more than I ever was. I know I ain't got much to offer, but it's yours for the taking."

Tae and Tsubame were trying to pretend they weren't eating it all up. Yahiko still looked as though he'd been beaten over the head with a bomb.

Sano pulled a heavy-looking wallet out of his satchel. "Taesan, here. This should cover me, up til the end of the week." He tossed it to her and she caught it. Her eyes widened as she gauged the weight of it before looking inside. "This… This is…"

"For my debts. And lunch today. And will you please leave me and Megumi alone for five minutes?" The smile he gave her was almost apologetic.

I have never seen her move so fast in my life. Tsubame returned to drag Yahiko away by the ear.

It broke the spell. Sano and I shared a rueful glance as we laughed.

"It wouldn't be easy for you, being the husband of a doctor of my reputation."

"Ne, when did I ever want it easy?"

"Only for as long as I've known you."

"Nah. That was lazy, not easy."

"I'd like everyone from Kyoto to come too."

"As long as I don't have to take the train."

"How did you think we were going to get to Aizu?"

He paled. "I hate those things…"

"It could be worse," I reminded him. "You could have to walk."

"I'd get there eventually," he groused.

"But lonely," I pointed out.

"Kitsune."

"Tori-atama." Even as I called him a bird-head, I couldn't help smiling at him.

"See my hand?" He held it up.

"It looks like a hand."

"I haven't used it since I left."

"So you do listen occasionally."

He snorted. "Only to you."

"And only when it suits you."

He shook his head. "From now on, always. I mean it. Do you trust me?" He held his hand out to me, palm up.

I reached across the table and placed my hand into his.


End file.
